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This is an old personal blog that I no longer maintain. I don’t even know what’s in here anymore, and no longer look at it.

About Me

  • Third generation feminist
  • My late mom is the founder of my city’s domestic violence shelter
  • I helped her, and marched with her to pass ERA, help migrant farmworkers, stop nuclear proliferation, etc.
  • She died in my arms when I was in college after battling cancer for ten months. She was buried in my dress.
  • To cope with my grief, I volunteered at an AIDS hospice my last year in college.
  • Upon graduation, I moved to SF and marched in the Gay Pride parades in 1993 and 1994
  • I left SF and have been focused on my career, home,retirement ever since. Just working, paying bills and staying out of trouble.

mw cd 4 – tracks 3, 5, & 8

  • Every situation in your life right now is the perfect situation, the perfect lesson for you to learn for the next stage of your evolutionary journey.  What you really want is joy.  Joy will not come about from a different situation.  It will come about because you look at this situation differently.  If you don’t learn this, the same issues will appear again.  Focus on what you have already, not what you want.  Talk about what does work & not what isn’t working.   What am I not giving, not what am I not getting.
  • The ego loves to monitor the spiritual progress of other people.
  • The Universe doesn’t see you as bad, but if you are harsh instead of gentle, untruthful rather than honest, lack integrity, critical of other people, judgmental or blaming or lazy or withholding or controlling — Because of the law of Cause & Effect you are generating chaos in your life.  So it’s not the area of life where chaos is reflected back to you.    It’s about these places in yourself.  Identify these parts — these defects — where you block the light & the miracles in your life.
  • other people are the crux to finding God
  • every person you meet is your crucifier or savior means that you have the opportunity to focus on their guilt, fortify your own.  focus on their innocence, and delivering yourself to the appreciation of your own.
  • relationships are the laboratory of the Holy Spirit.  where the rubber meets the road.  where we are given the opportunity to practice in the most meaningful way who we really want to be.  and when you start practicing who you want to be, you start practicing the kind of life you want to live.

language is key to the Course

God and man speak separate languages. The Course is trying to teach us God’s language to us through our language. It is self-taught. We have to teach ourselves this language, but we also must practice it with others.
Mom, a linguist, advocated immersion as the key to true fluency. Reading was at the center of her life.
Studying the Course is like studying a new language. Mom taught Spanish & English, and studied several languages. I never learned a foreign language, but I did learn some things about how to study a foreign language. And I did learn coldfusion.
I like that the Course was founded by academics. I spend my formative years at college campuses, libraries, Unitarian churches, cultural events, etc. An emphasis on intellect. But the Course is the language of the heart. It’s unlike man’s language. But I know how to learn, and I am willing to open my heart.
Human language is evolving. It’s like how music has gone from vinyl to digital. Info travels in chunks & can be moved around inside our minds.
  • part is within separate
  • to commune is to communicate Godly
  • rise up = awakening
  • one with the sun = One with the Son. I am the light.

Women are naturally strong communicators so we pick up on the Course more easily. People are looking to women to heal us all because women have been overcoming violence against them for centuries. We have the experience and knowledge to continue our survival instinct.

MW says want = wand

Forego = for ego

Even “ACIM” has “I Am” in it.

The course also changes tense.

You just think you resent whoever – you’re actually mad at yourself & trying to cover it up.

You just think you resent whoever – you’re actually mad at yourself & trying to
cover it up.

What are our distractions covering up?

I don’t think I like being so needed.

Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have different. (Oprah)

The ego speaks it’s own language, too. It’s non-sensical to the Real Me. I may
actually need my ego’s help in order to recognize the ego in something or
someone. Not judging, just describing where my ego is.

I must affirm that I am having a happy life because that sentence is so foreign
to my ego’s language.

The Course is an overlap of the two languages. We grew up in the language of the
ego. The Course is teaching us the language of God. We’re learning a new
language. And we are teaching it to ourselves. We must learn this language from
within – not expect anybody to teach it to us – and we must practice it with
others to in order to gain fluency.

It’s all about language. Because it’s all about communion/communication.

Sent from my iPhone

the present moment is my ministry

I am a minister of God.  A witness to His miracles.  I am here to demonstrate (“teach”).

aversion to the present moment is where pain begins.

pain is an illusion.

I’m tempted to be bored by the present moment.  God delivers me from all temptation.

how else can I minister to my brother if I am not present?

and guess what? that’s what relationships ARE.  ministering — communion with my brother.

the people in my life are precisely the people God has willed me to commune with.

I am forgiven.  Mom forgives me.  She underwent a spiritual transformation.  Her will is for me to be happy.  I must believe that.  I must know that.  Her will is for me to be happy, and feel good when I think of her — not sad or full of regret.  Doing so keeps her spirit warm & cozy.  It brings her joy.  And I love her so much that I want her to feel joy.  I release myself from my prison of regret.  Mom delights in my freedom.

Stress makes me not want to do anything at all.  It keeps me out of the present moment.  Be present with everything you focus on.  One thing at a time.  It will all get done.  Don’t worry.  Relax.

Spiritual Warriors

Spiritual Warriors

Illustrate a soul changing experience. In the cosmos. By basic primitive
cartoons. This is to convey at the easiest level. I’m the interpreter of the
cosmos to today’s young people.

Illustrate my ruminations.

King Blaze is the diamond inside if every heart.

We need to call up in one another. Sure, V may jump on the bed sometimes, but
then she reads while listening to classical music. Who else in the world would
do that? Obviously she’s evoking feelings of mom. And what other environment
than that could I get in touch with those feelings again and experience that
sense of freedom, fun & imagination?

We have to balance today’s violent imagination with positive, healing, helpful,
hopeful imagination.
Sent from my iPhone

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